I wish I could say I had more willpower when it came to things in life, but sadly I cannot say that. Willpower has never been one of my strong traits and with him it was no different.
He had a way of just looking at me and breaking through all my defenses I put up to keep the world out. His soft breath on my neck turned me into a quivery, wet mess and before long I’d do anything just to have him touch me. On more than one occasion I found myself embarrassingly pleading with him to touch me, tease me, torture me into that delicious place inside myself that I found most enjoyable.
It was a place I hadn’t gone to many times before and only he had taken me. The place where I felt like I was flying and yet grounded at the same time. It was a euphoric high that was better than any synthetic drug could dream of inducing. Sometimes it lasted for mere moments; other times it lasted for days. When I thought I couldn’t bring myself there and release my mental restraints, he brought me there.
The nights he physically restrained me I felt the best. There was something about the feel of rope or nylon cutting into my skin and limbs that made me feel safe and comforted. I knew I could trust him to keep me safe physically and mentally, but actually feeling it was something entirely different. To look in his eyes and see the emotion he felt for me. To know that I was giving this gift to him and he treasured it completely.
Because that’s what my submission was for him and me – a gift. I willingly gave him my power and he took good care of it. I wouldn’t do this for just anybody and he knew it. He had earned this right and I entrusted it to him very carefully. It took a lot of time to get us to the point where I could allow him to restrain all four of my limbs and I wouldn’t have a panic attack.
The first time I had been completely restrained I truly flew. That’s when my mind finally let go and allowed me freedom. It was intense and it was amazing. When we were done I broke down and cried in his arms and he stroked my hair comforting me for hours.
That’s when he said he knew I was truly his. I had allowed him to cross my barriers and break me down, only to build me back up again. Where I was lacking before, I was bursting now. I had confidence I’d never experienced before him and while I knew he contributed to it, it had come from me too. I had grown and I had seen the light, so to speak. While we had grown as a couple, I had grown as an individual. I had grown as a woman and in particular as a submissive woman. He told me often how proud he was of me, how much he could see I had grown and changed and been made into a better version of myself. He said I didn’t need changing before but that the changes that had occurred were spectacular. I couldn’t agree with him more.
Every time his fingers ghosted over my skin I felt myself swelling inside, the person I was always meant to be coming out more and more. Maybe without him I would have reached this place inside me at some point in my life, but I don’t think it would have been quite so soon. Life as a whole is a journey, a process and growing up and growing older is no different.
“Kitten, I have something for you,” he whispered in my ear as I lay bound to our metal frame bed, naked and exposed for his use and enjoyment.
“Thank you so much, Daddy,” I said as my voice quivered. I could feel his love for me in his words and all throughout my body.
“Do you want me to put it on you or do you want to see it first?” he quietly asked.
It was a sly way of asking me if I trusted him, which of course I did wholly and completely.
“You can put it on, Daddy. I don’t need to see it first.”
I watched him move around the bed to a side drawer that I was not allowed in and he pulled out something. I saw the quick glint of metal and my heart leaped. We had talked about a bracelet or some other type of jewelry I could wear on a daily basis given that a full fledged collar was just practical nor was it our style.
The cool metal hit my skin and I practically signed when I heard it click shut around my wrist. I looked down and out of the edge of my line of sight I saw it. It was a beautiful silver heavy link chain with a heartshaped padlock holding it shut.
“I have the only key,” he said and I looked up to see him grinning and spinning a little key around in his fingers.
I smiled back, unable to contain my happiness and excitement about the whole thing. It was perfect in every way and I couldn’t ask for a better physical representation of our relationship.
He held the only key to my bracelet and he held the only key to my submission. He knew how to get inside my head, my heart and my soul and that’s how I liked it. There was no other who knew me like he did and no other who ever would know me like he did.
“Do you like it, Kitten?” he asked though I’m sure he already knew the answer.
I answered from the depths of my being.
“I love it, Daddy. It’s perfect,” I said with emotion.
He came around close to my head and leaned down, his lips brushing over mine. As I looked in his eyes, I saw everything I had been and everything I would be. So much growth since I had met him, but something told me there was so much more growth to come.