Dear world, I’m not so kinky somtimes

Dear World,

Sometimes I’m not so kinky. It’s one of my more shameful confessions, but sadly it’s true. I’m not terribly kinky. Okay, I’ll amend and clarify that. I’m not so kinky lately thanks to several circumstances. That’s an important modifier clause there.

So why am I not so kinky lately? I think the biggest thing that has held me back lately is moving to my house. Granted when I lived in an apartment with paper thin walls, I wasn’t particularly kinky on a regular basis either, but it seems lately that I’ve been even more kink-less than normal. I think it was the whole moving process that did it to me. Between packing, moving, lifting, storing, collecting, placing, organizing, unpacking, painting, cleaning and all together getting my house in the shape I want it to be in, I have very little energy left at the end of the day to be kinky. More than that – it seems like I have very little time.

My place is great for kink. Three bedrooms, two full baths, walk in master closet, dedicated office/shoe display room, basement room I’m turning into a “play space.” It’s got everything. It just seems like right now it has nothing I want it to eventually have though. The room that I ultimately plan on being my place space was the only room I didn’t get painted before moving in, mostly because it was the subject of ceiling fixes thanks to faulty plumbing and the subsequent leaks. It’s white – stark white. I’m wavering if I want to spend the money and paint it a rustic faded barn red, the color I really want it to be, or save money and use grey and slate blue paint I have from elsewhere in the house. Ideally I want it to be a romantic room and red just seems more suited for that kind of thing. I’ve put off doing work on that room because I’ve been focusing on living spaces, but now I’m being confronted with my debilitating worst enemy – making decisions. I’m terrible at making decisions.

Bookcases I’m using for shoe display

The hardest decision I’ve been wavering over lately is how I want to store my toys. In the process of moving, I went through a majority of what I had accumulated over the three and a half years living in my apartment and it really shocked me how much my collection of toys, bondage gear, shoes and lingerie had really grown without me even realizing it. I have a lot of stuff. Right now the shoes are being displayed in my office. The lingerie is in its own five high dresser. My toys are in a couple different locations, spread between boxes, temporary dressers, cases, my play bag and various boxes I’ve labeled with “hair” and “toiletries.”

I simply cannot decide how I want to store my BDSM toys. My grand idea is ultimately to have metal store display grid panels attached to my walls and hang items with S hooks in similar use groups. I shamelessly stole the idea from The Studio dungeon space in Chicago. It just looks so darn classy and menacing. But then the thought occurred to me – my parents will probably go in that room … which will lead to them seeing my toys … which will lead to a conversation I don’t necessarily want to have with my parents. “What’s this?” “Well Mom. It’s an anal hook that I use when I get suspended with rope at kinky conventions.” Somehow I don’t think that will be an interesting conversation. So instead my new thought is to get a wardrobe and baskets that everything can be organized in inside that. Maybe hang the floggers, crops and canes from the inside of the wardrobe doors. Then the quandry is finding one that fits my taste and budget.

Okay, I seemingly have gotten off track here. I’m supposed to be talking about how I’ve been a terrible kinkster lately. Between moving and my inability to find local partners who have an open schedule, I’m quite frankly stymied. That’s it right there. There are people all over the country I want to play with who have similar schedules as me … but they’re all over the country. There are people locally I want to play with … but their schedules are absolutely insane crazy busy. We can’t always do what we want when we want and my friends and potential playmates demonstrate that principle very well.

At this point I’ve probably lost quite a few of you with my nonsensical ramblings so I’ll make it short. I’m a bad kinkster. I’m not as kinky as I’d like to be, though mostly it’s mostly because a lack of suitable timing, space, and energy, not because I don’t want to be. Hopefully you’ll stick around with me and humor me until things get easier and my kinky times return. After all – isn’t the point of moving into a new space to have an amazing housewarming party?

Love, Kitten

One thought on “Dear world, I’m not so kinky somtimes

  1. DanaramaSF

    In my (occasionally vanilla) dungeon, I hang my toys from brass towel hooks on 8′ lengths of lovely finished wooden baseboard, which are attached at eye-level to the walls with long mollybolts so they can easily be removed, and even the mollybolt anchors concealed by a picture. A hollowed out smoke detector hides my suspension point. And a lockable, tall and narrow dresser contains my kinky sundries. I can be as kinky as I wanna be, but with a ten minute warning, my house can be as ‘nilla as it needs to be, if ever that is the case.

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