Category Archives: sex toys

My Desert Island Toy List

I have people ask me all the time: “What’s your favorite [insert category of sex toys]?” Over the years I’ve tried so many it would make most people’s heads spin. Hell, if you look at which toys are in my collection, the number really is quite staggering. I didn’t even realize I’d tried that many until I actually sat down and listed them all.

Sex toys come and go but I find myself gravitating back to the tried and true ones. These are the toys that will forever hold a dear place in my heart and bedside drawer.


 Pure Wand by nJoy
If I could write an ode to one toy and one toy alone, it would be the Pure Wand. For a long time before I wrangled up the funds for one, it had been spoken of with high esteem by sex toy reviewers and users alike. “It’s fabulous! You won’t regret it!” they all said. I always replied with a skeptical look and mindset. There really couldn’t be one single dildo that did everything for me, could there? I mean, after all … it’s huge! It weighs in at around three pounds of solid stainless steel. I could use this thing as a personal defense tool, for god’s sakes. 
The weight is what makes it so totally delicious and beyond reproach. I swear to you that from the very first time I used the Pure Wand, I was hooked. It has brought me more orgasms than all my other toys combined. Hands down. The small end is perfect for targeting the g-spot. That tiny end almost acts like a magnet. WHAM! G-spot stimulation! The larger end is great for all over, cervix-pounding thrusts. The two ends are perfectly counter balanced and this provides an ease of use that you would otherwise think would be lacking in such a hulking piece of beauty. The trick to using the half moon shape is to rock it in and follow the natural curve of the dildo. 
It’s incredibly cleanable, with no cracks or crevices that could collect gross germs or gunk. Use antibacterial soap, boil it or put it in the dishwasher. It comes in it’s own crown jewels-like case, nestled in a bed of pink satin. 
Read my full review of the nJoy Pure Wand here.
Magnum by Fun Factory
Okay, so maybe stainless steel isn’t your thing. No problemo. My other favorite dildo is by far the Magnum dildo by Fun Factory. It’s swirly, it’s silicone, it’s firm and it’s got a fantastic girth! Is that enough for you? 
Magnum is probably top most dildo on my dildo pile other than the Pure Wand. Sometimes, you just want thickness inside you! That’s what Magnum offers and more. What I like most about this dildo is that it’s definitely got some heft to it (I sense a theme!) There is nothing wimpy about this dildo. It’s not slender and it’s not for the faint of heart. This makes it a win in my book. Not to mention that it is harness-compatible! The flared base makes it great for anal use, though admittedly you’d have to be a pretty intense anal player to get the whole shaft of this beast into your bum. Owie. 
The shape is just asexual enough not to freak me out and just detailed enough in the right places to provide stimulation where my body craves it. From all the dildos I’ve tried, used and no longer use, I’ve noticed that I like curvy dildos. Some have the extreme curve of the Pure Wand and some have the more gentle curve of the Magnum. The broad head of the Magnum is great at stimulating the whole g-spot area while staying away from sharp, cervix-puncturing pokes. 
Once again, you can clean the Magnum in all the same ways you can clean the Pure Wand, a must for my germaphobic self.
Read my full review of the Magnum by Fun Factory here
 Mimi by Je Joue (pink) and/or Siri by Lelo (purple)
I tried my best to decide which one of these I liked more, but I simply couldn’t pick. It’s like asking me to decide among my pairs of shoes which I like the best. It simply can’t be decided. They both have their pros and cons and quite frankly, I wish that they would just combine already! Make sweet, cute, powerful, easily rechargeable and waterproof little love babies.
They’re both perfect in their own way. The Mimi is waterproof all over. I keep Mimi in my shower for a quick waterproof pick me up in the morning. It’s broad, flat head is great for clitoral vibrations. It has a billion different vibration patters, but I’ll be honest and say I really dislike vibration patterns. I prefer constant vibration to a pattern any day. Same goes for the Siri in terms of patterns. I know they’re there if I ever want to try them out, but I sure as hell don’t use them on a day to day basis.
Siri’s pointier head is great for super targeted vibrations and on the whole I would say I use Siri more than Mimi, but Mimi is clearly better for wet encounters because Siri’s buttons are the weak point in it’s chain. The charging port is at the back of the hard plastic part of the handle and the plug in is easily accessed by water and/or lube. Eeek! Mimi charges by magic … or as Je Joue says “a magnetic clip” that just magically holds onto the little electrodes that also double as on/off buttons at the non-business end. 
Both have tips that are silicone and cleanable, but Mimi is covered all over (with the exception of the very end with those buttons).  I’m gentle with when I clean these and only clean with soap and water. 
One thing you may notice is that I don’t have a stick vibrator or traditional style vibrator listed here. Why? Because I just don’t have a use for them. My vagina likes penetration, not vibration. My clitoris is the one who likes vibration, so why have all the extra bulk? It’s not necessary. I stick with tiny, discrete and out of the way vibrators. 
Anal Toys
Small Clear Plug by Crystal Delights
I have said it before and I will say it again until I’m hoarse in the face. The single best plug I’ve ever used in my entire life is the Small Clear Plug by Crystal Delights. End of story. There simply isn’t another plug or anal toy even like this plug. If there isn’t one of these in your toy collection if you are into anal, then you should drop everything and get one of these now. Hell, you should have had one of these since the day they came on the market. 
Why am I so in love with this plug? It has absolutely everything I have ever wanted in a plug and more. It sparkles like CRAZY. I like everything sparkly and there is nothing that sparkles like a huge Swarovski crystal in your ass. People have told me it looks like a freaking flashlight shining out of my bum. It is just that sparkly. Doesn’t every girl want something sparkly in her life? Tiffany, Cartier, Harry Winston. Pffft. They have nothing on these things. Forget putting a diamond on my finger; put a diamond in my butt! 
This plug has unparalleled comfort. I’ve worn it for upwards of five to six hours and could have easily worn it for much longer. Because it’s glass it does have a bit of a weight to it, but actually it’s a pleasant weight. I find that when I’m wearing it, I’m more aware of my sensuality. I feel owned and dominated even if I’m the one doing the dominating. There is something about anal that puts me in the most delicious headspace and this plug is number one in doing it for me. 
I could go on and on for hours and days about how amazing all of the Crystal Delights toys are (helloooooo … they have TAILS!) but this is the flagship in the line, in my mind. When Crystal Delights first came out they had two sizes – large and small. The large plug has a longer neck and looked uncomfortable to me. I’m so glad I went with the small and thus the shorter necked plug. It simply does everything for me. 
You simply won’t know how amazing these toys really are until you try them. That’s all there is. 
Read my full review of the Small Clear Plug by Crystal Delights here.
Natural Organics by Sliquid
Why do I have lube here? Because it’s lube! Everybody needs lube. Our bodies are not natural lubricant producers all the time. If you do any anal play at all and are even halfway concerned about your butt’s health, you must use lubricant. The ass doesn’t produce any natural lubricant on its own in the way a vagina does. No lube equals friction. Friction equals tearing. “Tearing” and “asshole” are two words that should never, ever go together. 
There are a million and one lubricants on the market and a million and one chemicals that manufacturers put in those lubricants. Some are more harmful to your body than others. Sliquid is an American company making super body-safe and organic lubricants that are bar none my favorite ones. I’ve tried tons and found that some dry out, some get sticky, and some … well, I don’t like to speak of some.
Sliquid makes a ton of different varieties, some water based and some silicone based. Some have flavors and some have no flavors. Some are warming and some are cooling. I like the plain old basic Natural Organics version that is water-based. It works with any toy material and any condom material. This lube has just ten ingredients and five of those are certified organic. My body likes those odds. 
There are so many other lubricants out there that claim to be body-safe and non toxic. This lube actually is both of those things. Why aren’t you using it already? 
So there you have it. Six simple products that have changed my life. I couldn’t live without them and I sure as hell never want to be without them if I’m ever stuck on a desert island. We’ll just imagine the whole electricity issue isn’t an issue at all. Need a new toy in your life? Get one of these. Need a toy that will last you a lifetime and will get you hooked? Get one of these. 
I know my life wouldn’t be the same without them!

Lessons Learned From My First Play Party

What did I learn at my first group play party? That I think I’m not cut out for play parties.

Everything leading up to the party was fun. I got there early and my host, M, and I “made friends” rather early. Must have been 15 minutes absolutely tops before we were going at it on the couch. Did I mention this was also our first time meeting? He bent me over the couch and did me from behind while he spanked me and called me his whore for the night. I enjoyed that immensely, but like every other sexual experience in my life, it wasn’t very satisfying without the orgasm at the end. Sigh. Maybe some day. But that’s another post.

When we were done, we got cleaned up and went to Target to get some party supplies. Being that I was the “house girl” for the evening, my main responsibilities were to greet the guests, offer them a beverage of their choosing and be available for their use and abuse throughout the night. Thankfully most were respectful and understood I was new to this and still somewhat uncomfortable. I must say, it was really surreal to be walking around Target getting chips, drinks, snacks and extra large boxes of condoms. I think we freaked out the cashier with the unique item selection we had. On the way out we stopped for some food at the Target cafe. The original plan was to have a sit down dinner, but traffic was horrible on my way there so I arrived late.

We arrived back at the hotel and started setting out all the snacks. M instructed me what my duties for the evening were and tied up my breasts with his rope to decorate them. I’d coincidentally forgotten to bring the dress I intended to wear. Seriously, it was an accident. So my outfit for the evening consisted of a rope harness around my breasts, a black lace thong and black patent platform high heels. It was quite the look. I laid out all my toys I’d brought as things people could use if they wanted to. I’d made sure to bring mostly things that could be fully sterilized after use. Tantus products, glass dildos and plugs, and then a random supply of other things.

At some point people started arriving, much later than we’d anticipated. Turns out we likely would have had time to have that sit down dinner we’d been planning. I assumed my role for the evening, greeted guests and made small talk. While I didn’t really find myself in any overtly sexual situation or involving myself in them, I did find that I spent most of my time being a sex toy educator. I guess I can’t turn the switch off, huh? I talked about how I review toys and write this blog. People were really interested and curious to hear about the things I review. That was a lot of fun.

As more people arrived, things got sexier and more skin could be seen. I assumed my roll even more and serviced a few of the guests the best way I could. My mouth is practically miniature so there’s no way 99% of penises fit in it. I ended up licking and sucking at the head more than anything. I sat on laps and talked about fun stuff. Watched some sexy times as well. But one thing that I found interesting here is that I suddenly found myself too shy to even watch sex going on. This was rather curious for me because I’ve always considered myself a voyeur. When I thought back on it after getting home, I realized I should modify that moniker with a word in front of it. I’m a “egotistical voyeur.” I love watching myself get fucked, but not necessarily others. Strange concept and it will probably need more refining and testing as I go along.

People were very interested in my toys and I had put the Crystal Delights Crystal Clear Glass Anal Plug in earlier in the evening. Most wanted to see that and play with it themselves. So I did my fair share of leaning over and showing off my jewelry. And then of course turning around and showing off my vertical clit hood piercing as well. Sparkly in the back and sparkly in the front.

One guy in particular was fascinated with it and bent me over a bed to take a closer inspection. We talked and eventually that led to him grinding on my ass in that position. This was actually fairly early in the evening as he was one of the first guests to arrive. We talked about how this was both our first parties and how surreal it was. Turns out that would be the theme of the evening – surreal.

Time went on and I watched, talked and interacted with all the guests. Everybody was super cool and understood that I was spotting leading up to my dreaded period, so thus not really interested in receiving vaginal sex. Mostly people just played with my boobs, probably because they were highlighted so well. My two friends who were RSVPed guests finally arrived after waiting in vain to pick someone up. They’re very cool people and I love hanging out with them. Hell, if I hadn’t had duties all evening I would have spent most of my time with them. Almost instantly upon her getting there, she became the main entertainment for the party while I sat on his lap and he stroked my exposed skin. Damn, she’s good at sexy things. It’s like watching a great show.

I will tell you that as more people arrived, I got more and more sidetracked and distracted with everything going on around me. I inadvertently turned down an offer to get a little action with the male of the couple I’m friends with. I’m kicking myself still because honestly, I have no recollection of turning down this offer. I figured they’d be there for awhile and I’d just get my turn eventually I guess. Apparently it hurt his feelings a little, but we’ve since resolved it. I still feel terrible. If I had been thinking clearly and not distracted I would have jumped at the opportunity and been all over him. My best defense is my senses and cognitive abilities were so overwhelmed I had no idea what was going on. Sigh.

The one dude who was fascinated with my plug pulled me away from my male friend with the intention of having some anal with me. The slightly funny, slightly sad and all together too awkward problem with this was he squirted way too much Wet Synergy lube in my ass and on  his cock so there was not enough friction. A little bit of silicone lube goes a long way, kiddies. Don’t forget that. Plus, he couldn’t seem to get hard enough to push inside my ass. We agreed it was performance anxiety for him having never “performed” in front of a crowd before. Regardless it was still awkward, and frankly I was a little annoyed I was pulled away from my friend for unsuccessful anal. Oh well, live and learn.

We all watched more sex going on throughout the hotel suite and I attempted to use my Latigo Leather harness but I guess all the girls weren’t interested. I did get a girl to suck my “cock” off and I was super into face fucking her with it. I can definitely see where the attraction for men is. She “jacked” me off too and I enjoyed that. The girls at the party were all gross and covered in various forms of body fluids so we decided to hop in the shower together. At that moment a rather well known MtF transexual female porn start decided to show up and bring friends. Normally trans people are totally not my thing (nothing against them, it’s just not an interest of mine) but they were really cool and people were looking forward to meeting them. Throughout the evening I enjoyed talking to them. Even taught a few some new things about sex toys! Booyah!

Several girls and the porn start hopped in the shower and those who didn’t fit took turns rotating in. Oddly enough it was my first time being in a shower with another person. Funny right? Loved watching girls makeout under the water and even got in on a few makeouts myself.

My friends had to go as they were getting up early the next morning (or later that morning given it was around 2 am at this point.) They departed with spanks, kisses and promises to get together again soon with those who would be available. I got back in the shower with a couple and we joked about fucking in the shower, her with her Feeldoe and him with his cock. Passing me back and forth like a football given their larger stature than mine.

When the showers were done we all just kind of chilled in the main room and talked. The night seemed to be winding down and I was till wide awake so at a certain point I decided to risk the 90 minute drive home instead of staying. I sure as heck wouldn’t be sleeping if I was going to stay. All the party guests decided to leave at the same time and I kissed my host on the way out. He told me he was pleased with me and I had done a good job. That made this Kitten very happy.

Unfortunately on the drive home I started thinking about a lot of things and my emotions caught up with me. I realized some important things about myself and my own preferences. The biggest one is I think if I go to a group party from now on if I can’t go with my lovies (more information on them to come soon) I probably won’t go to participate. Just go to hang out and meet new people. We’d discussed that I was going ahead of time and there wasn’t any issue me going alone, but it made me feel like I was cheating on them almost. Like I was doing something outside of our relationship and it hurt me.

We’ve talked about it since then and agreed it’s probably best as it really put a strain on my emotions to do this without them. I want to be committed to them and nobody else. I have a very, very small number of freebie people and the understanding is they’re okay to play with, but otherwise I’m going to be committed to my lovies. Especially if I end up feeling the way I did after this party again.

Overall, I am glad I went, but the whole thing was a very surreal experience for me. It’s important to do new things in your life, if only to learn what you like and what you don’t like. I definitely learned things in both of those categories as a result of this experience. Would I go to one again knowing what I know? Probably. But I would go just to hang out and probably not to participate. The best might be going as the sex toy educator. I found that to be the most fun aspect of all night. Me thinks it’s a calling?

The bottom line for me is sex parties are fun, but I’m not entirely sure they’re my thing. Maybe with less people and going with my lovies, but alone and at a huge party where I’m still not 100% comfortable might not have been the best experience for me emotionally given I was already a bit thrown off by several other things in my life.

Do I think you should try them? Only if you feel comfortable enough and are looking to meet new people who are kinky and open. Make friends with people who go to them and you might find yourself on the invite list soon enough. As long as you’re safe about being there and use protection and your wits, it may be a much more pleasurable and fun experience for you. Hopefully with less emotional backlash.