Category Archives: Babeland

Review – MySpare Pete Packer Underwear Brief


Pete Packer Underwear Briefs by MySpare

I have a new obsession. Okay admittedly, I’ve had these for a few months now, but I’m still just as obsessed with them as the day I got them.

What are they? The Pete Packer Underwear Brief from MySpare and sold at Babeland are literally a revolution in packing technology and gear. We’ve come a long way since the days of socks in underwear and other ways we devised to gender bend.

I have several other harnesses, among them two MySpare products – the Joque and Theo. I also have several leather harnesses (my favorite of which is the La Femme harness by Stockroom). Specifically for packing I have two packing straps from Aslan Leather (two sizes of the Mr Right Packing Strap). I’ve tried them all. The problem I’ve had with them all up until now was that I felt like I needed to wear underwear over the harnesses so the actual packer didn’t get damaged during from rubbing up against my clothing.

Packer cocks are very delicate by nature and as such tend to tear easily. Because they’re made to simulate a flaccid penis, they need to feel as soft as possible. Babeland’s Softpack is made from Elastomer. I love them for their softness and realistic feel, but I am super protective of them. I keep them stored in plastic baggies so no lint, dirty or other materials that could stain the Elastomer gets in contact with the material while the toy is being stored. If I’m that careful in storing them, do you think I’d be less careful when I wore them?

The Pete Packer solves all these issues. Any packer you choose to wear is kept safely behind the nylon/spandex blend the underwear is made out of. If I were to stand in front of you with these briefs on naked from the waist down, you wouldn’t know I didn’t have a bio cock. That’s what’s so great about the Pete Packer line! As such these are great briefs for trans people and those who simply want to experiment with gender play.

Front and back of the Pete Packer Underwear Briefs (shown with Fleshlight Mr Limpy inserted)
Modeling the Pete Packer Briefs

I’m a small person, 4’10” and 106 pounds. As such, I got the Medium size Pete Packer Briefs just to be on the safe side. I prefer to not wear underwear that is too tight and these turned out just perfectly. The 88% nylon and 12% Spandex jersey blend these briefs are made from fit me perfectly. Size Medium will comfortably fit a 32-34″ waist. Babeland has provided this handy guide to determine what size you would wear:

– Small: 28″ to 30″ waist
– Medium: 32″ to 34″ waist
– Large: 36″ to 38″ waist
– XL: 40″ to 42″ waist
– XXL  (special order only): 44″ to 46″ waist
– XXXL (special order only): 48″ to 50″ waist

In my opinion, order up a size from what you think you might wear. I’m tiny of course and as such you’d think I would wear a small. But au contraire! You would be wrong. I have bigger hips so medium sizes in things usually fit me pretty comfortably. 

For me, the wonder to these packer briefs doesn’t come in the material, fit or anything like that. It comes in the pouch where you keep the packer safe and secure at all times. Having packed a few times under clothing. There is nothing so frightening as shifting your body around only to feel your packer slip out from where you put it. The fear that it will fall out somehow is always there. That was one of my biggest gripes about the Aslan Mr Right Packing Strap. The packer never felt secure and I always felt like it was going to slide right out the top. With the Pete Packer Briefs, the packer stays secure right where you put it.

Inside of the Pete Packer Underwear Briefs

When you look inside the packer underwear, those of you familiar with Spareparts (or MySpare) harnesses will see the familiar fold over flap. This flap is the part that actually sits against your body. While you’re wearing the Packer Briefs, no part of the actual packer touches your body.

Inside  the pouch where you keep the packer

Once you pull back the flap though, you’ll see exactly how you’re going to keep your packer cock safe and secure. First thing you’ll see is a little stretchy piece sewn on. I’ll be honest with you – I haven’t used the little stretchy thing. My packers just don’t fit it. My best guess is that this strap will keep the actual shaft of the packer in place if you don’t want to pull the shaft through the second inner hole (which goes through to the second chamber of the brief front. I think this is what my father would term as “belts and suspenders.” It makes sure that the packer stays inside the inner pouch if you’re not putting it through the hole.

The second hole is pretty small, I tend to think. I took a scissor and made a little snip in it (probably not a good idea since nylon and spandex seems to fray, but there was no other way I could get my relatively slender packing cock through there. I was worried that trying to pull it back out from that super tiny shaft hole would end up tearing the packer. Do this with yours or not, I’m sure that most packer cocks will comfortably sit inside the inner hole.

That inner hole opens up into a second compartment. This is generally where I pull my packer cock into and leave it. For me, I don’t use any stand-to-pee devices or pull out my packer cock from this second compartment like a bio man would pull his penis out (to pee or otherwise display) so having this second pouch have exterior access is neither good nor bad. Obviously though if you wanted to do this, having exterior access to this second outer pouch is excellent. It’s just what you would find in men’s oriented underwear. You can reach in and find whatever your fishing for, be it packer cock or bio cock. The space is generous enough to accommodate several sizes of packer cock, starting from the smallest up through I would say a large size. Having something larger than the Babeland Large Softpack in this space seems to me like it would be excessive, but some people prefer a bigger bulge to a smaller bulge.

Wearing this packer for me is eye opening. I’ve always loved wearing my strap-ons and waiving them around in the air. It makes me feel powerful and “toppy” in a way that nothing else can. When I pack, I cannot stop rubbing my cock. I’ll slip my hand down my pants and just rub away. Before the Pete Packer Underwear Briefs, I was always concerned that this rubbing action would lead to miniature tears in the packer elastomer material and one day lead to the degradation of my packer cocks. With this now, I can rub the outside while still knowing that my packer is safe and secure behind one if not two layers of nylon/Spandex material.

One note here I’ve been dying to ask biological men since I got this packer – how do you walk with a bulge between your legs? Seriously! It’s been killing me. I feel front heavy almost. Like I keep rubbing up against my cock when my legs hit it. No wonder the urban myth keeps getting perpetuated that men think of sex every seven seconds. Having a cock like this makes me believe that myth is actually true.

The care for directions found inside the initial flap in the pouch area

The Pete Packer Underwear Briefs by MySpare can be washed by hand or in a washing machine in cold water on the delicate cycle. Use only mild soap; never bleach or fabric softener. When drying, make sure to line or flat dry these so they don’t deform or melt (after all they are Spandex!) These underwear are made in the USA and are patent pending.

So what do I think of the Pete Packer Underwear Brief from MySpare, available at Babeland? I absolutely freaking love them. I’m not kidding here at all. If you’ve ever considered gender play or are a trans person in need of a safe, secure way to carry around your packers in a day to day pair of underwear, these are what you’re looking for. They are comfortable and yet stylish. The Spandex/nylon blend forms to your body and provides all day comfort but the double pouch area is the best way I’ve found yet to wear a packer all day. There’s no risk that your packer will fall out from where you’ve tucked it if you use the Pete Packer undies. Spareparts is a company I love for harnesses and they have not let me down here in their new line of packing underwear. Bottom line – get these! You will absolutely not be disappointed!

Review: JimmyJane Little Afterglow Sampler Set

JimmyJane Little Afterglow Sampler Set

Candles are one of the simple indulgences I have in my life. The flickering light, the sweet smells, the hypnotic qualities about them. I simply love candles. That being said, I’m fairly picky about candles, much like I’m picky about most things.

The JimmyJane Little Afterglow Sampler Set sold through Babeland is pretty much the most awesome set of candles you’ll ever have. You have a veritable candle buffet before you at the price of just two of the JimmyJane candles.

What makes the JimmyJane Afterglow candles so awesome? Because they’re not just candles. They’re also massage oils. Wait …. massage oils?  But the box clearly shows candles. When the candles burn down, you don’t just get the great smell of whatever candle you choose, you also get a massage oil left over in the flame’s wake. More on this later.

The JimmyJane name & logo sits in the lower right corner of the box.

 The set arrives to you in a beautiful white box, tied with a luxurious hot pink satin ribbon. The packaging alone makes it a perfect gift idea. You’d barely have to wrap it to gift it to someone. There is no external indication this set of candles is from a sex toy manufacturer. No naked girls, no big boobs, no overly showy packaging. That is one of the signs of a premium product from a premium manufacturer, something I consider JimmyJane to be. The perfectly snowy white box has a grey ink blot designed into it and of course the JimmyJame name and logo.

Packaging on the Afterglow Sampler Set

When you untie the ribbon and open the top, you find a large card describing the scents included in this set. They are as follows:

Wit Group

  • Explore – Cucumber Water
  • Provoke – Grapefruit

Charm Group

  • Connect – Pink Lotus
  • Flirt – Dark Vanilla

Kink Group

  • Seduce – Truffle & Gardenia
  • Intrigue – Bourbon 
The card insert included with the Afterglow Set

 You can mix and match scents according to what mood you want to set. The reverse side of the insert includes an “Experience Guide” that gives you instructions how to use the candles and suggestions for combination of scent. It also has a nice little coupon for the JimmyJane website as well.

The Pink Lotus candle has been lit

To use these candles as massage oils, burn the candle as you would normally and then extinguish the flame. What’s left behind is warm massage oil. I would suggest waiting a few moments directly after extinguishing the flame just to let the oil cool slightly. The ceramic candle container is shaped in a way that makes pouring the oil out of the candle very easy to do. The included instruction booklet (in more languages than most UN meetings have) gives the tip to start with a quarter-sized amount of oil so that things don’t get too messy.

The oil itself is incredibly luxurious. Rubbed into the skin, it softens your skin and leaves behind whatever gorgeous smell you’ve chosen to use long after you wash off the actual oil. The oil remains slippery until it’s absorbed into your skin or until you wash it off. I literally was smelling my arm for about five hours after I tested this candle. My friends were laughing at me cause I was talking on the phone with them and sniffing my arm at the same time.

For those with allergies, the Afterglow candles have no paraffin, dyes, phthalatates, parabens, sulfates, petrochemicals and animal products. The wick is lead-free. JimmyJane doesn’t use animals to test their massage products as well.

My favorite scents were Pink Lotus, Cucumber Water, and Truffle and Gardenia. I wasn’t such a fan of the Bourbon candle honestly. I think with time and use I may enjoy that particular scent more, but I am considering giving it to a friend who will enjoy it more.

JimmyJane is a leader in ultra luxurious sex toys and candles and I have been lusting after the Afterglow candles for so long. Without a doubt these lived up to the hype. I understand why so many people say glowing things about them just as candles, much less massage oils.

The JimmyJane Little Afterglow Sampler Set sold at Babeland is a wonderful gift idea for the candle and massage oil lover in your life. Get the kit and give the candles away individually. Give it as a set. Get the whole thing for yourself. The variety of scents, the luxurious massage oil and the options are amazing.

Review: Seven Minutes in Heaven Vol. 2

Porn, much like human bodies, comes in all shapes and sizes. Having spent the last almost decade watching porn of all types, I’ve developed quite a discerning taste for what I like. Unnatural looking bodies, condom-free sex, male jewelry, hair scrunchies and faked female orgasms are just a few of the things on my list that make me press the “stop” button. A dude spewing his jizz all over a girl’s face is another. Ugh.

Having done extensive “research” on the subject, my recent trend in my porn watching habits is quite simple – real people, with real bodies, having real sex. Seven Minutes in Heaven 2: Tender Hearted sold at Babeland, quite possibly the most queer and gender-friendly sex store out there. The fact that it was nominated for a 2010 Feminist Porn Award tells you what caliber of work it is. It also tells you something I would like to impress upon my readers. Pornography and feminism are not incompatible concepts. To be truly liberated as a woman, it is important to enjoy your body and be in touch with it, whether that’s through sexual activity of some kind or not.

If you’re looking for plastic-fantastic, blond Barbies in your porn, look elsewhere. This is not the movie for you. Hell, this isn’t the movie for everybody in fact. For some, it might be too much. But like Goldilocks and Baby Bear’s porridge, it was just right for me. There are real people in this movie. Only one person that appeared on screen was someone I even recognized and she didn’t take her clothes off!

The basic concept of Seven Minutes in Heaven 2 is this – throw a bunch of hot, gender-bending people into an apartment with great sex toys, all the safe sex protection you could ever dream of, and let them go to town. Paired off by a basic “spin the bottle” of sorts, couples and eventually threesomes do what hot people do best. They have great, hot, real sex. I couldn’t tell who was what gender and honestly that was part of the appeal. In the end, it doesn’t really matter. Sure, if your Tab A doesn’t fit into another’s Slot B it’s a bit of a setback, but just strap on a fake cock and go to town. Some of my favorite toys ever make appearances in this movie. Some of my most recommended toys make appearances in this movie.

One thing that really got my attention and sealed my stamp of approval for this porn was the fact that I don’t think I can recall a porn with more safe sex examples. From black nitrile gloves to condoms over vibrators and even a demonstration of how to make a dental dam in a rush, my inner germaphobe and safe sex advocate rejoiced. In a day and age where AIDS and HIV has not been eradicated and only continued to proliferate, it’s important to show positive examples of safe sex. Using a condom or dental damn doesn’t decrease sensation. In my mind, using them shows your sexual partner that you care enough about them to make sure both them and you stay safe, regardless of health status. And to me, that’s just plain sexy. Caring is sexy.

Genders blend as couples get down and dirty in this movie. Fingers and tongues explore. Interesting locations make for interesting sex. I mean, I never would have thought of a clawfoot tub as a particular sexy location for sex in the positions shown in this movie, but now I don’t think I’ll look at one the same now. There’s no black or white when it comes to race here either. Everybody is sexy. Everybody gets action. While I do have some of the actors I preferred (the sexy Latina girl in the opening scene was freaking HOT!) they were all interesting and enjoyable to watch.

Want a preview? This is just an example and a quick scene of the actors playing “spin the bottle” to get things started.









See what I mean? Hotness. Want more of a taste? Here’s the trailer as found on director Courtney Trouble’s website. Follow the link to her website for more pictures taken on set during filming.


You need to install or upgrade Flash Player to view this content, install or upgrade by clicking here.

So overall did I enjoy Seven Minutes in Heaven 2: Tender Hearted sold at Babeland.com? Definitely. Is it a porn for everybody? No. The person who enjoys this movie will have an open mind, a love of safe sex and a soft spot for human bodies, no matter the color, shape, gender or orientation. Sex comes in all shapes, colors, sizes and appearances. My only gripe? Sorry, everybody. I just can’t do that much genital hair. A sad reality, but a true one. That little fact alone stuck in my heel like a bad glass sliver you can’t tweeze out and unfortunately prevented me from really getting into this porn.

As to Courtney Trouble and her brand of “gonzo” porn (which seems to me to be more like real porn)? I’m glad there’s someone out there making movies with real people having real sex in a real way. We’re not all porn stars and we’re all interested in things beyond our normal experiences.  Porn should reflect that as best it can. This movie certainly does.

Review: Candy Bra + G-String Combo from Babeland.com

Holy sweet tooth, Batman! Diabetics better haul out the industrial barrel of insulin before you read this review. Just the mere idea of it may send you into sugar overload. Well, that or the idea of candy strings caressing your girly or manly bits. Either way you’re sure in for one heck of a sugar rush when you plunk down $20 on the Candy Bra + G-String Combo sold at Babeland.com

Candy Bra + G-String Combo

Sure, you could buy these items individually, but you and I both know a good deal on anything sexy is a fantastic deal. Buying these items separately would cost you an additional $4 and let’s be honest having the set is going to be more fun in the long run. Us ladies (and some gents I’m sure as well) have a thing about matching our lingerie and for me something I can eat and play dress up with is going to be no different.

These delicious delights of decadence will arrive at your door step in beautiful pink boxes. The boxes depict black shadowed outlines wearing the products on the front and have a list of ingredients and nutrition information on the back.

Packaging of products

The candy has been made in China and includes the following ingredients: dextrose, modified maize starch, anti-caking agent (magnesium salts of fatty acids), citric acid, flavorings, and colorings (Red 40, Yellow 5, Blue 1.) Though I don’t know why you’d actually consider looking at the nutrition information given that it’s just freaking sugar, 10 individual pieces of the candy will set you back 9 grams of sugar per serving.  There are approximately 28 servings in the candy bra and 14 servings in the candy g-string. With a serving size of 10 grams and doing the math, that means you’d eat 378 grams of sugar if you sat and ate every piece in both bra and g-string. I don’t think your body would like you very much if you did that.

All these are essentially glorified candy necklaces, just on a much larger scale. Ever get one of those out of the coin machines when you were a kid? Well, these are the adult version and personally I think they’re much hotter. After all, who doesn’t love a little pussy or nipple with their candy? I say we combine the things all the time. Except if you get yeast infections. Then that’s bad. Vagina + sugar = yeast infections, people. Very bad news! Needless to say these are for decorative and external use only. No insertion here, folks. Let me repeat that: DO NOT INSERT CANDY UP YOUR WHO-HA!

Actually wearing these items is rather awkward and cumbersome as they don’t exactly tie very well. The top is just like your standard triangle bra top, with straps to tie around your torso and neck. The “straps” on this don’t exactly tie that well but I don’t think they’re designed to stay on too long. Not exactly the object here. If you try to take them off they get pretty tangled easily and I had a heck of a time removing them once they were tied.

So what do they look like while being worn you ask? Yes, I shall even deliver here. Behold the wonder that is the candy bra top and g-string combo!

Candy Bra top

As you can see, the triangle pieces are pretty far apart. Someone with a narrower torso may find that this piece doesn’t fit on them at all given that the triangle parts are set so far apart. Personally I prefer my bikini tops to be more of a push up than a sag down but to each her own. I’m a 34C/D in bra size and comfortably fit this top. Sure, it’s a bit snug and doesn’t cover much in the way of breast tissue, but this once again is probably not what it’s designed for.

Candy G-String front view

(I’ll spare you with the back view because of some rather scary looking bruises I received from an intense flogging a few days ago. Details possibly to come on that as well, by the way.)

The candy g-string bottoms are …. unique. When you put them on the sensation of the little candy pieces rubbing on your pussy lips is almost akin to tickling for me and I giggled the entire time I wore it. I hope laughter is part of your sexual life because you’ll certainly be laughing when you’re wearing this. The actual crotch portion of the g-string is oddly strung so it almost pouches out. I would think you could also use this on a man, though I do believe they also sell a mens’ version of this bottom as well. So maybe this is for a woman who likes her g-strings a little pouchy, one with big pussy lips that need concealing, or a man with a rather small penis. Multi purpose diabetic coma inducing! That’s what you call bang for your buck.

Given that the string this is made from is stretchy (remember the old candy necklaces?) I imagine a wide variety of sizes would be able to fit in this, but like most things there’s a limit. I’m a size 8-10 in womens’ and found the string stretching already for me. You’re definitely better off being more slender with this item. As for the back, it’s actually quite large. I’m rather petite and need low-rise undies normally so the extra tiny triangle back of the g-string sat much higher than I’d normally desire for g-strings day to day.

The feedback I received wearing this candy undies combo was …. well, sweet! There’s nothing like a woman in candy to get the motor revving and I imagine you’ll find that this combo will get you both jacked up on sugar and get you jacked off.

But Undercover Kinskter, you say! What does it taste like? Before wearing it tastes like sweet, sweet candy. After wearing? It tastes like candy and cooch. And that’s the sweetest combination of all.

Buy the Candy Bra + G-String Combo from Babeland.com in October and Babeland will donate 10% to the Young Survival Coalition, an organization dedicated to aiding and supporting young woman facing breast cancer. You’ll also receive a Babeland Buzz vibrator for free with your purchase.

Review: The New Romantix

The New Romantix

I have pretty high standards when it comes to porn. I’ll admit that right at the start of this. I’ve been watching porn for about a decade now and things I would have let slip by me five years ago now really irritate me.

One thing I love seeing in porn? Women with natural boobs, tattoos and no fake nails. Women who take control of their own sexuality and aren’t afraid to grab life by the balls and take what they want. Female empowerment, if you will.

That’s one of the reasons I was so excited to check out The New Romantix, a Max Royale production sold through Babeland. I  mean come on! It’s cover has James Deen and Joanna Angel on it! They’re two of my favorite porn stars! There’s very little that James Deen can do wrong in my eyes.

Throughout the movie, Royale profiles “6 beautiful, intelligent, funny and amazing women on their passionate quest for sexual liberation and empowerment.” Sounds like it would be right up my alley then, right? Sigh. I wish it had been. This movie held so much promise and fell so short on what it promised to deliver.

Before we get into the things I liked and didn’t like, here’s the trailer for The New Romantix.


Now onto my good things and bad things. Let’s start off with the good things.

1. The girls didn’t look like your average porn stars. Yes, some of the “average” porn stars are hot. But for me a majority of them are not. I don’t like the look of 95% of augmented breasts. Plus I have a thing that porn gives girls and guys an unrealistic body image of what women should look like. We’re not all 5’10, 100 pounds and have 40DD boobs. That’s just not natural. The women in this movie have small breasts, tattoos and piercings. They’re pretty in a downtown chic kind of way. You’d expect to find them at a punk/techno/funk club moreso than on a porn set or dancing at the local strip club.

2. James Deen. Like I said, he can do no wrong in my eyes. He’s just plain fucking hot. I have a thing for skinny dudes who fuck like bunnies and he certainly fits the bill. He can be dominant in the most awesome way or back off and just be a sexual partner. He’s in two scenes in this porn and they are by far the best scenes.

3. The women are clearly enjoying themselves and not faking. Ugh, I hate when women in porn are obviously acting. “Oooh oooh, fuck me! Fuck me!” *insert eye roll here* Not everything needs to be verbalized for it to be sexy. Sometimes the best thing a woman can do in porn is to get her full body into it and really focus. Really make it seem like she’s enjoying having sex and isn’t just there for the paycheck. I won’t even start on women who do lesbian scenes but you can tell are only there for the money and not the other girl. Royale has selected women here to genuinely love sex and love showing off having sex. They are exhibitionists in every sense of the word and I really like that as an exhibitionist myself.

Okay, I really tried to come up with more, but I just couldn’t. So I guess I have to get straight to the bad things about The New Romantix.

1. It just feels low budget and low quality. I know porn doesn’t have the kind of budgets that mainstream motion pictures do, but yeesh at least make the film quality good. The movie cover says it’s shot in high definition but I couldn’t see evidence of it. Maybe somewhere hidden on the two disks I received are secret versions of the movie shot with crystal clarity, but the version I watched definitely wasn’t. It appeared washed out on my screen. Like someone turned down the contrast during editing. To top it off it was grainy too. I swear that a few places it skipped too. Not exactly what you call the best quality in porn.

2. The sound quality was atrocious. Without touching on the completely shitty music, I’ll just touch on the sound quality here. The sound, just like the video quality, was washed out. Whoever mixed the sound should be smacked upside the head. One of the things I like in porn is the sounds of real arousal and real fucking, not dimmed noises drowned out by a soundtrack that didn’t fit with a given scene. Each actual sex scene is preceded by an interview of the female the scene focuses on and those were just fine, sound quality wise, so why couldn’t the actual sex scenes be the same way?

3. Music – egad! Some of the music is great. I love it. The songs are edgy and definitely not your soft-core typical porn soundtrack. Okay that’s great. BUT … the songs should match the mood of the scene and not overpower it. Some of the music clearly doesn’t fit the theme and mood of the scene and it just throws you out of the moment. I get that they were excited to get some of these songs on the soundtrack, but at least make the fit the scene instead of work against it.

4. For a movie that proclaims female sexual liberation, there’s no lesbian scenes. I understand this isn’t marketed as a heterosexual or homosexual porn, but when a film proclaims itself to be “sex positive” on the front of the box, I would think it would at least include some alternatives besides heterosexual sex. Yes there are MFF scenes, but beyond kissing and maybe some nipple sucking, I didn’t see much interaction between the women. As someone who likes all genders, it’s nice to see options presented in porn.

5. A constant presence of the “Max Royale” logo on screen throughout. What am I watching? Content from the internet? Geeze, if you pay for a freaking DVD you should at least get logo free porn.

So what’s my final verdict on The New Romantix, available at Babeland? Ehhhh, I’m not sure I’d watch it if it wasn’t for James Deen and Joanna Angel. If you like those two, it’s maybe worth taking a look at, but overall I don’t think it’s worth it. Production just seemed so haphazard and thrown together that I really couldn’t get into it. The interviews before each scene seemed to bear little relation to the actual scenes. The girls are cute, but you could find similarly cute girls in many other better quality porns. The music totally ruins the mood of most scenes by blocking out the good sex noises I would have preferred to listen. The video is washed out and the sound isn’t good either. I had such high hopes for this porn and nearly every one of them with the exception of James Deen was thrown out the window. 

Review: Soft Pack by Babeland

When I was in fifth grade I went through a period of time when all I wanted to be was a boy. I dressed like a boy, sounded like a boy and did my absolute best to be a boy. Of course fifth grade was also the year I got my period, so that dashed all my dreams of ever being a boy. I accepted the fact I had a vagina and moved on with my life. Being a sheltered child my whole life, I didn’t even understand the concept that a boy had a penis. Well, until they separated the boys from the girls for an hour long video about sex education the same year.

I didn’t get my hands on a cock until I was 22. I kid you not. I was a virgin until 22. Wow, I’ve come along way since then. While I may not have touched a lot of cocks in my day, I certainly know what a cock feels like.

Recently my childhood fantasies about being a boy have come back. I’ve found myself fascinated with the idea of genderbending. I’ve begun lusting after packing cocks and strap-on harnesses.

The Soft Pack from Babeland is quite possibly my favorite of the packing cocks out there. They are made from Real-feel Superskin, a material that feels very skin like and realistic. More on the materials later though. First, let’s talk about what I like about this packing cock.

First off, they come in a variety of sizes. I selected the medium for a good size cock. I already have the Mr. Limpy packing cock from Eden Fantasys so I wanted something a little bigger. The Medium Soft Pack is 5 3/4 inches in length and is quite the floppy cock. I can only imagine how this cock would be if it got hard. Wow, that’s something to imagine! The sizes of these range from the 3 1/2 inch Mini to the massive 7 inch Large. Whether you’re looking for a little bulge under your clothes or a rather sizable one, you’re sure to find something you like in the sizes available for the Soft Pack.

For a size comparison: 
Soft Pack Medium on the left and Mr. Limpy on the right

 Second, the look and feel is very lifelike. It’s squishy and not overly firm. In a kinky way I can act out my CBT (cock and ball torture) fantasies without having to worry about hurting an actual cock. Too much? While clearly the balls don’t have anything in them like real balls do, the balls are nicely sculpted. There is wrinkling and folding where you’d expect it to be. This cock clearly has been circumcised but that doesn’t deter me at all. I love to see the look of a pronounced cock head. The color of this is pretty lifelike as well. It’s a good Caucasian color. As someone who believes in diversity, I wish this came in a variety of skin tones, but as the Babeland product website says, manufacture availability has limited availability to only the Caucasian color. Sigh. Though I will say compared to Mr. Limpy the color is much better. Mr. Limpy is an almost sickening shade of pink. God, if I was that shade of pink I’d worry I had too much carbon dioxide in my blood.

But now … well, for the less positive things.

Let’s be honest. The medium size is freaking huge. It’s quite the dangly thing. I use my packing cocks with my Mr. Right Packing Strap to accommodate the balls and quite frankly the Medium Soft Pack weighs it down. The actual shaft part of the cock is so weighty that it pulls the top part of the flat backside away from the straps that hold the packing cock in place. I worry that too much vigorous movement or even too vigorous walking might snap the shaft clean off the balls. Even sitting on my desk it still lifted up and wanted to lean forward. See?

My biggest gripe? The material this packing cock is made of. Real-feel Superskin is a material designed to be lifelike, but it’s extremely hard to handle, store and care core. When the cock comes to you, it’s in a sealed plastic bag and you can see the inside of the bag is covered in a greasy, almost lube-like material. It kind of smells gross and made my hands feel even grosser. I just felt greasy all over. I tried to wash it away, but that didn’t work. It’s the actual material itself. The material also collects lint and dirt like nothing else. Even sliding my packing cock in the Mr. Right Packing Strap for the first time covered it in little black lint particles all over.

This material cannot be sanitized and is porous. While this packing cock isn’t designed for penetration of any kind, I highly recommend putting a condom on this toy if you want to use it in any kind of situation where bodily fluids could get on it. How do you clean it then? Antibacterial soap and water is best, followed by air drying to prevent more lint catching on it. This material cannot be used with silicone-based lubricants and doing so will melt the material. I’ve previously heard that you can throw a little cornstarch on this and similar materials to keep them in good shape. I didn’t test that but I hope to in the near future.

I honestly have trouble storing this packing cock as well. I get nervous about touching it to silicone toys in case they melt each other. Like I said previously it collects lint. I will probably be storing them in plastic storage bags.

I understand that to make the toy feel as lifelike as possible, it probably needs to be made of this material but I’m hoping that someday another material is developed that doesn’t need as much goop on it to be both manufactured and maintained. The greasy feel alone is enough to turn me off. But I’ll overlook that because I finally have what I wanted in fifth grade.

Even for a few minutes, I can pretend to be a boy.

Find the Soft Pack at  Babeland in prices ranging from $16 for the Mini to $22 for the Large.

Review: Jimmyjane Beyond Euphoric Massage Lotion

Lotions, potions and creams, oh my! My counters and drawers are littered with them. I’m a collector of good smelling things and constantly on the lookout for new products to try. Babeland was kind enough to provide me with Jimmyjane’s new massage lotion to test on my senses.

Made with natural ingredients and good smelling things, Beyond Euphoric is a delight to the senses. It’s not greasy when applied to your skin and doesn’t leave that gross sticky feeling some lotions leave. It absorbs quickly and only leaves behind the lovely soft fragrance. The fragrance is a pleasant combination of gardenia, coconut, rose and ylang ylang. I’m usually pretty sensitive to the smell of coconut and find it overpowering, but this lotion has only hints of the scent in the background.

I can imagine this lotion being used on a romantic night, candles lit around and lights dimmed. Partner with you rubbing your back as you slowly melt into the bed with the scents of this lotion filling your nose. It will make for an excellent accompaniment to your plans for the night. While you can’t use it as a combination massage lotion and lubricant, I bet getting a massage with this lotion will be lubricant enough for some sensual encounters.

This lotion is free of parabens but always make sure to test it out on your skin first before applying it in a large quantity.

If you head on over to Babeland.com this weekend (7/17-7/18) you’ll also find everything online is 20% off! A great sale for great products from a quality adult and sex positive retailer.

A special message from the great people at Babeland to you, my readers:

You’ve come a long way, babe. Now is the time to share pleasure and knowledge with those just starting their journey. We invite you to pay it forward, literally, by making a $5 donation to Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS), a nonprofit organization dedicated to improving sex exducation.

It gets better though! We want you to get a little when you give a little, so in exchange for your $5 donation you will receive a Jimmyjane Beyond Euphoric Massage lotion ($24 value) absolutely free.

If you purchase a Jimmyjane product (of $75 or more) at the same time you make your donation, your gift will be upgraded to a Jimmyjane Ember Massage Candle ($35 value).

These free gifts are donated by Jimmyjane, our featured vendor and fundraising partner. Our retail stores will offer these, plus additional free gifts.

Review: Rose G-Spotter from Babeland.com

If you’ve been following my reviews, you’ve probably noticed my love of glass toys. There’s just something about them that appeals to me. The Rose G-Spotter from Babeland.com fits the bill perfectly.

First and foremost, I am a fan of Pyrex and glass sex toys simply because they can be fully disinfected. Whether boiled, bleached, put in the dishwasher or otherwise, this material can be used in filthy, nasty ways and still be cleaned wonderfully. My inner germaphobe revels in this fact. This means I don’t have to worry about the hard material absorbing germies or using a condom over glass toys if I want to use them both vaginally and anally. Of course if I plan on using it anally and then vaginally right in a row I still use a condom so I don’t have to stop and disinfect. Don’t ever go anal to vaginal unless you want either an infection or a UTI. Besides, it’s just icky in my mind. Would you want poop up your vag? Gross!

Another thing I like about glass is the sheer hardness of the toys. As someone who likes rougher sex than most, I like toys that replicate that rough penetration I may receive from my partner. The weight of glass that comes from the material is a wonderful feeling as well. Whether anally or vaginally, the weight of glass toys is definitely something you feel inside of you. Glass anal plugs definitely feel weighty in your ass and I love it. It reminds me that I’m filled and plugged, turning me on and I love that.

Glass can also be used in some temperature play, another great play time activity. I put my glass toys in the freezer for about five to ten minutes and I swear I orgasm so much harder when toys are cold. To warm up glass toys, it’s recommended to run them under warm water instead of other ways of warming. This will ensure that the glass doesn’t become too hot and possibly burn something you definitely don’t want to burn.

My Rose G-Spotter came with a great padded storage case by Don Wands. It’s thick and plush, made of a black padded velvet-like material with a drawstring at one end to keep your dildo safely stowed inside the storage case. I’ve tossed it around and it’s not come loose or damaged it at all.

The actual dildo is a soft rosy pink color, reminding me of the old phrase “seeing the world through rose-colored glasses.” I inspected the whole dildo thoroughly and was disappointed to find a little imperfection in the bulbous head of the dildo. I can feel the chip when I run my hand over the spot and while it’s not too sharp, I do have slight concerns that it would scratch me if it was bigger. That’s a risk you run when you use glass toys though. Treat these toys well otherwise you could very well end up with a chip in them. Keep them in a padded storage bag and away from other glass toys. Don’t drop them or swing them around.

I settled in to use the dildo and liked that multi bulbed portion can be used as a handle as well as a penetrative portion. Glass can be used with any type of lubricant and I used some of Wet’s new lube, Synergy, which is a mixture of water-based and silicone lube. There’s no worry about the glass material dissolving using silicone-based lubricants. Pretty much any lube will make glass super slick and wonderful for easy thrusting.

My g-spot is located in a somewhat strange position and I’ve tried many toys that claim to hit the g-spot perfectly. While I was thrusting this one with the bent end inside my vagina, it didn’t quite hit my spot perfectly, but it did a pretty good job. This was a great toy for extending out my play time. Normally when I play I last roughly 30 seconds to a minute and this dildo made me last probably double that before I came.

The next time I used this toy I wanted to try it anally. This time I used Wet’s Synergy again and lubed up the multi-bulbed end. It went in my ass smoothly and I really enjoyed the bulbs rubbing the inside my ass as I thrusted with it. Using the dildo this way was really great and I will probably use it more this way than anything in the future. With it’s easy clean up properties, this makes a great anal dildo.

I really enjoyed this dildo and the fact that it’s glass only makes it better. While it didn’t quite hit my g-spot perfectly, it hit it well enough and felt even better in my ass.

Best news for Babeland.com fans? July is Customer Appreciation Month at Babeland! When you make a $5 donation to Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS), a nonprofit organization dedicated to improving sex education, with your Babeland purchase you will receive a Jimmyjane Beyond Euphoric Massage lotion valued at $24 for absolutely free!  If you purchase any Jimmyjane product of $75 or more, you will receive a Jimmyjane Ember Massage Candle

Review: Heart 2 Heart cuffs from Babeland.com

I’m thrilled for the opportunity to be reviewing for Babeland.com, one of the best and most sex-positive toy retailers out there. They do great things for the community and their stores are fantastic. I highly recommend you check out Babeland’s website or their retail stores for some of the best products and information out there.

I’m even more thrilled that the first product I am reviewing from Babeland is the Heart 2 Heart cuffs. I’ve never before had a set of real leather bondage cuffs and when I saw these, I simply squealed for joy. There is nothing like the smell of leather and feel of the material against your skin. As someone who obviously considers myself fairly kinky compared to mainstream sex, the fact these are my first leather cuffs is actually somewhat surprising even to me. I simply couldn’t find a set before these I liked at a reasonable price in a genuine material.

Speaking of the material, the leather here is very nice. It’s supple while still having some oomph to it. When I slapped these babies on my wrist I couldn’t help but get excited at the feel of leather against my skin. Smelling that great leather smell turned me on even more. The width on the black leather portion of the cuff is pretty wide, a little under 2 1/4 inches. I have a fairly dainty wrist so I was concerned they would look clunky on my wrists, but fear not. They looked spectacular. See?

 The exterior of the cuff has a lovely red strip of leather down the center with all the connecting hardware. Because my wrist is so small, I found it a little cumbersome to pull the strap tight enough to get the tongue through the hole. I think as the leather softens though this will become less of a problem. Certainly as these cuffs get more use as well.

The red leather piece is riveted to the black piece with five sets of two rivets. They are flat on top and bottom and do not irritate the skin at all. This was definitely a plus. Cuffs are no fun to be in when they are uncomfortable or irritating to the skin.

I found the metal parts of the connectors to be a bit on the flimsy side. These are by no means cuffs meant for hard play. They don’t lock and I could see with rougher play things could get bent out of shape somehow. That being said, these cuffs aren’t sold or marketed for rougher bondage play so I didn’t expect them to be able to withstand that kind of use. 

These cuffs are very adjustable size wise given that there are seven different holes you can change the size of the cuffs to. I believe they’d accommodate someone with a very wide wrist all the way down to someone with a wrist smaller than mine. They’d probably even be good for ankle cuffs as long as you have slender ankles. I tried them on my ankles and while they didn’t fit, they came super close. Granted, I also have slightly chunkier ankles (but no cankles for me I swear!)

Overall I believe that for $35, the Heart 2 Heart cuffs are worth the investment as long as you know you’re not getting these for situations where you’d want to lock them or use them in more intense bondage play. The leather is supple and smells amazing. They are highly adjustable and generally constructed from quality materials that will withstand light to moderate bondage players. You can find them at Babeland’s online store and select retail locations.